Seven Ways to Prepare Yourself for Social Overwhelm on Wedding Day

Life events, like a wedding, mean celebration, and celebration includes people—sometimes a lot of people.  Even if you consider yourself an extrovert (one who enjoys being around people), there are times social batteries can drain, and recognizing when you need a quick recharge can make your wedding day, a more pleasant experience.

                  These tactics especially apply to introverts, but will surely help both introverts and extraverts alike to understand when they just need a breather.

1. First, know your threshold.  If your family or wedding party has a full weekend planned of one activity right after another from Friday to Sunday, do position yourself for breathing room.  After all, a guest can skip out without notice, but not so much the guest of honor.   Let others know you will need some down time in between activities and allow for plenty of rest.  Don’t allow yourself to fall into sleep debt on your wedding weekend until the end.  Recently, I was talking to a travel agent in Africa who told me his worst clients were honeymooners.  “Oh yeah, why would that be?” I asked.  He proceeded to tell me what slugs they would be upon arrival.   As a savvy travel agent, he would have an ever-stimulating itinerary mapped out for them from the moment they stepped off the plane—only to discover they’d rather lounge by the pool.  I advised him it was because they were exhausted and needed a day or two to catch their breath, especially if they were coming directly from their wedding.  Instead book them a spa day or something leisurely and let them recharge.
2. Second, to boost your pre-wedding energy, consider training for wedding endurance. This isn’t a suggestion to get fit—only healthy.   The idea isn’t to go down a size in your tuxedo or gown.  This means getting healthy with diet and exercise.  I was talking to a bride who hired a personal trainer 6 months + before her wedding.  The trainer had her give up sugar, alcohol and pretty much all processed foods.  Her personal goal wasn’t to change dress size, rather look tone on her wedding day.  She got the results she was hoping, but she also reaped other benefits of her disciplined diet and workout change.  She found the improved diet made her feel better and she had tremendous more energy giving her an extra skip in her step on wedding day.
3. Plan for quiet time. One of the items occasionally we suggest to our Weymouth Hill brides is to plan for a 20-minute soak in our bathtub before getting ready.  Did you know a 20-minute warm soak, will naturally calm your nervous system, relax muscles and so much more?  It’s also 20 minutes you can be alone with no one around.  We once had a super stressed bride who was so overwhelmed we invited her to come early on the wedding morning.  Our bridal suite attendant drew her a bath with lavender salts and infuser.  We kept the room quiet for her and when she walked out she thanked the bridal suite attendant with, “You have no idea how much I needed that!”  Other ideas of quiet time include:  sunrise yoga, massage therapy, cat nap, or refresh time in your timeline.  Your venue or planner should be aware of traveling massage therapists, or yoga instructors who might be able to offer onsite services.
4. Watch the caffeine.  It’s always a lovely gesture when your bridesmaids or groomsmen get that beloved Starbucks drink en route to the venue.  Then you arrive to find there’s an ample supply of Nespresso’s.   Then you’ve added a coffee bar to your cocktail reception.  All this to say, everyone knows how caffeine can temporarily boost your energy.  However, if getting in front of crowds causes you jitters, maybe skip or soften the caffeine intake on the wedding day.  Herbal teas are a nice alternative and many have natural antioxidants and calming ability.
5. Take a break. It’s hard when the bride and groom are the guest of honor, and literally everyone is there to see you.  It can be overwhelming when all eyes are on you and everyone is there to “help” or ask questions.  It’s up to you to know when it’s time to take a break.   Trained coordinators, like those at Weymouth Hill, can sense when someone like the bride needs a break and will “clear a room,” if asked.  In some cases, a bride just may need to be completely alone for a few minutes or the couple just wants a chance to embrace without anyone around, including a photographer.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.  Take the 10, 15, or 20 minutes you need.  You have the whole day to be social.  Breathe deeply and savor what should be the best day of your life.
6. Consider a private dinner. While most couples want to be among all their guests for the dinner reception, a private dinner in another space apart from guests gives you as a couple time to be truly alone.  Many couples report they don’t remember eating their first bite of food, much less what it tasted like, among the myriads of well-wishes and people asking questions between bites of prime rib.  A private dinner can give you that 30 minutes alone with no expectations or interruptions from the guests.
7. Take a few minutes alone with your pet. If you’ve brought along your loyal companion for your wedding day, make time to stop and cuddle your trusty canine before guests arrive.  This is another way of mentally slowing down the day.  At Weymouth Hill, it’s not uncommon for a bride or groom to bring along a trusted pet.  Also, know your pet’s limitations with new places and faces.