It’s a single day that many spend months (even years) dreaming, contemplating and planning and even the best mapped-out and well-orchestrated wedding day plans will have a few kinks, or not go exactly how you envisioned. To stave off any post-wedding disappointment or undue stress during your wedding day. Let’s discuss ways to avoid it!
Of course, the best prevention to mishaps on your wedding day is through careful planning and certainly communication. Even the best pre-planning won’t guarantee something isn’t missed. It’s like the test you studied for repeatedly, then go in to take and you’re flying through the questions, because you were prepared. You know you are going to ace this test, but when it is returned, there is a single question you missed, and you are dumbfounded. Sometimes a wedding can be like this.
I attended a high-level professionally planned wedding this year and the wedding planner was in a league of his own, certainly a master of delivering flawless luxury weddings. He did just that. The execution was impeccable, but even this pro missed something. The seating assignments (while most thoughtfully done) contained an amuse Bouché (chef-prepared, bite-size app) on a card giving you your seat assignment. The problem–In the dark hall, no one could see the monochromatic essentially white on white overlay print.
I use that example to show the scale of thought put into the seating chart, but even it had a minor flaw. This also illustrates the most careful, seasoned planner can overlook a detail, so an average person planning a single wedding will too. Take heart, there are things you can do to prevent mishaps and prepare yourself mentally for any unforeseen missteps.
- Hire a planner – If you are a Type A personality and have a finite vision of what you want your day to look like and how it should be executed, then hire a planner who will absorb that vision for you. It will alleviate a ton of stress. Planners are especially wonderful when you have a large guest list, crazy busy and have a lot of details or moving parts. At Weymouth Hill, we can recommend a planner based on your specific needs and wishes.
- Communicate, communicate and communicate – The number one reason something can be a disappointment is there was a breakdown or lack of communication. Sometimes, chill brides or those paying for wedding expenses can feel they are being dogmatic when trying to communicate exactly what they want. Again, if you have trouble advocating for what you want, a planner can be just that—your advocate. It’s literally what a good planner will do.
- Visual examples are best – Be prepared to show your vendors photos/videos of your inspiration and be clear on your likes and dislikes. Also do not feel any detail is too small to discuss. This is the sure way of getting exactly what you want. When meeting with your vendor, bring copies of inspiration photos for your file or send electronic copies. All wedding professionals should keep a file of your event and include photos/videos to reference as it is easy to confuse details when working with multiple clients.
- Let vendors know your expectations – Let a vendor know how important photography, food, floral (whatever) is to you. I get it. No one wants to be high maintenance, but there’s an art to letting someone know you have high expectations. Wedding professionals should always be on their A-game but will certainly level up when they know you may be looking at their work as the most important aspect of your wedding.
- Kindness to your vendors goes a long way – As a wedding professional, I’m very adept to understanding wedding nerves and folks being unaware of coming across as snippy, or unusually curt and I overlook it. When under wedding stress, it’s understandable the patience meter is low and not everyone is using his or her best soft skills. However, I have observed when you are communicating your wishes with kindness and gratitude, you will get more than you asked in return. Literally, I just shared my number one secret! Your vendors will subconsciously work harder for you, if you show them gratitude! It’s a law of human nature.
- Remind vendors of your most important details – You should not have to rehash details, but if something is especially important to you, don’t hold back reminding them week of your wedding. Examples: reminding the caterer of a food allergy the, florist you don’t like eucalyptus or photographer of a sensitive family dynamic. I’ll never forget my bartender telling me of a father of the bride coming behind the bar and announcing if he saw the first beer can, he was personally shutting down the bar for religious sensitivity. The reminder wasn’t needed, but it did get the bar staff’s attention. The no beer can rule was front of mind.
- Stay positive – Positivity and negativity are equally as contagious. It is best to get yourself in a positive mindset before your wedding. I’ve heard brides say softly on the morning of their wedding, “this is going the be the best day.” I am over the moon when I hear this because I know they are putting the positive energy out there and chances are that positivity will be matched. Unfortunately, the opposite can also be true.
- Keeping it real –With solid planning and communication, undoubtedly your wedding day will be all you had planned and more. Keeping an open mind that there could be some minor missteps will mentally prepare you for not growing disappointed on simple things such as the color of the roses in your arch not being the exact shade of the bridesmaids’ dresses or the overstimulated flower girl not cooperating.
Afterall, a great wedding story usually involves some type of unscripted event such as your maid of honor falling into the fountain. Your family and friends will remember the joy they felt at your union and memories made—not that the brie was forgotten on your grazing board.
